I don't want to sound ungrateful.

"The levels of chronic stress experienced by the mothers [of children with autism] were similar to those of combat soldiers. The greater the child’s behavior problems, the worse the mothers’ stress."

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I know they mean well. And I don't want to sound ungrateful, really. Who am I talking about? There is a new project in town at the University that I would love to take part in...I think... but can't... and so, well -- Here, look, this is what this new study is about -- it's offering intervention for “parent stress” and this is the info in the flyer:

1. Contact us and answer questions to see if this study is right for you.
2. Be randomly assigned to one of the stress reduction groups.
3. Answer questions about your child and yourself 4 times (online or on paper; about an hour each time).
4. Come to 6 weekly meetings.
5. Attend 3 follow-up meetings.
6. Give us regular saliva samples to measure cortisol (a stress hormone).

I have dealt with them many times and these are the nicest people that are running this thing, honestly. And it’s a greatly respected institute of higher learning. And again, I know they mean well. Heck, they are even offering childcare during these sessions (although how The Boy would feel about that I don't know). They want to try and actually do something to help parents of children with disabilities deal with stress, which is noble and thoughtful and the first project of its kind, I think.

But I gotta tell you, when I saw the list of things I would be required to do to join this study -- between calling and answering uncomfortable personal questions (I'm guessing), being randomly assigned to a group of other stressed-out parents of kids with special needs, answer more uncomfortable personal questions for about four hours (again, just guessing), find the space in the calendar and the means of transportation to go to meetings six weeks in a row and then three more meetings after that… Plus, I am thinking it would only be polite to carve out some time for showering before each meeting. Swabbing my mouth with the inside of a q-tip every now and again would be a new experience and doesn't sound too bad…

But for the love of all that's holy I AM HOMESCHOOLING A FIVE YEAR OLD BOY WITH AUTISM. WHEN WILL I FIND THE TIME AND ENERGY TO DE-STRESS????

So I guess I can't go.

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