Grab bag

Children are a magical mix of mom and dad.  The deal is you never know which parts of which parent each child is going to get.  It sure would be nice to pick and choose the best traits to combine.

Jazzy got her overbite and protruding “fang teeth” from my side of the family.  She’s got her Daddy’s darker coloring, but my freckles (which is quite the combo!) I look at her and see that she’s got pieces of both of us. 

But she also got traits from each of us that can’t be seen until you get to know her a little bit.

She got my anxiety (though hers is clearly worse than mine ever has been).  She shuts down just like her Daddy (but worse).  She also has her Daddy’s temper. 

I see that Jazzy is a mix of the traits that were by far the most difficult for her Daddy and me to learn to manage.  Traits that we, in our thirties, are still learning to manage.  Is it any wonder that she’s struggling with them? 

I was an anxious child.  Every time my mom was late getting home I was convinced that she must have been in a horrible accident.  If a friend didn’t call me on time I would worry that she didn’t like me anymore.  I had a lot of anxieties, but they didn’t consume me.  I was still able to function, and laugh at myself for worrying when everything turned out ok. I still struggle with anxiety, but it doesn’t run my life. 

Jazzy, on the other hand, seems consumed with anxiety.  It’s all encompassing.  She clings to friendships with adults rather than her peers because it feels safer to her.  She worries when the people she loves are out of sight.  She struggles in school because though she knows the answers she won’t write them down until someone confirms that it is correct. 

Hubby tends to withdraw when he is feeling overwhelmed.  He becomes completely non-communicative.  He won’t talk.  He usually goes somewhere to be alone when he is like this, so most people don’t see this behavior, but it’s there.  I don’t know if he did this as a child or not.  Jazzy withdraws far more often and stays that way longer. 

One of these issues would be a lot to deal with, but to deal with all of them?  No wonder she struggles.