where parents of kids with special needs connect

Does your child do well in school, but not in the community?

I would like to open a discussion as I think this is a sore subject and those of us (like myself) are under personal attack. I pasted my personal story below the survey.

...but also ask if you'd mind filling in the 5 questions. I am trying to gather some statistics and help be a voice for the parents. Your feedback is important! We need to band together against this lack in the school system, which in turns shifts blame onto us. www.surveymonkey.com

I have been personally attacked by the school and blamed, and even had DCF (Department of Children and Families formerly DSS - Dept of Social Services) reports filed against me by the school. Regardless of my son's overwhelming clinical support of nearly 6 years now, including a recent inpatient hospitalization and then outpatient stay, the school has just been awful to me. They actually accused me of "having the mental illness and fabricating my son's problems and ultimately I caused his breakdown" The claim has been proven with no parental concern, but still now there are 2 reports opened.

I spoke to the Federation of Children with Special Needs and asked them if this was common and they said they get calls all the time! I am trying to find out just how many families struggle with this. I am going to step politically on this and need to get some background statistics first.

Thanks for joining in!
Denel
~Board of Directors/Hopeful Parents

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Melody Altamura on October 19, 2010 at 6:26pm

Denel, where do you live? What is DCF and the Federation of Children with Special Needs?
Mel~

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Permalink Reply by Blessed Mom ~ Denel on October 19, 2010 at 8:51pm

Boston Ma.

DCF is the Department of Children and Families (Formally DSS - Dept of Social Services)

The Federation of Children with Special Needs is a corporation of Boston who helps families, educates, trains advocates etc. You can easily look it up for more info: http://fcsn.org/index.php

The main jist of the Discusssion was to see if other parents are experiencing this same "parent blame" from the schools just because the child was doing well in the structured environment.

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Permalink Reply by Diane Vaughn on October 26, 2010 at 12:46am

Hi Denel~

Do you mean you're having trouble with the school taking your child out in the community? I'm not sure I understand the question...

Diane.

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Permalink Reply by Blessed Mom ~ Denel on December 9, 2010 at 8:54am

My son does well in the school but not in the community. So rather than step up and support him, they have blamed me personally.

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Permalink Reply by Dawn Scott on January 17, 2011 at 12:33pm

My son holds it together very well at school. He has perfect conduct (straight As) in class, so his comorbid dx are not even part of his IEP (Although I have tried until I am blue in the face to explain how an anxiety disorder presents and why we need interventions and goals). At home - heck even the safety zone of my car - he lets loose and the magnitude of his disorders, and how hard he works to "hide it at school so people won't hate him or laugh at him" (his words) show. I understand this is very common with anxiety and bipolar disorder in children. The school and other uninformed people and friends simply don't get it.

If your child falls apart at home only, then it must be something we are doing wrong. <sarc>